true masculine
You’re a man who has lost contact with who you are and what you need.
The answers exist, deep within you.
True masculine is about supporting you to reconnect to your inner knowing and reclaim the truth of who you are.
this is a heading
There’s an unspoken message boys receive from birth and we feel it throughout our lives. Society has defined masculinity in a way that forces men to reject, deny, and disown vital aspects of who we are. The characteristics society has deemed unworthy or shameful are banished and replaced with a persona built entirely from the qualities considered acceptable for men.
These societal definitions of masculinity become the formula we follow to be accepted, fit in, and avoid rejection and abandonment. Our identity is shaped around performing the masculine role correctly rather than connecting to ourselves, listening to our inner truth, and becoming who we really are. As a result, true masculinity has become distorted.
distorted masculinity says
Men don’t cry. Emotional expression is weakness.
Men don’t acknowledge their feelings. Feelings are seen as instability.
Men don’t show their pain. Vulnerability is shameful.
Men don’t need help. Dependency is seen as inadequacy.
Men don’t admit they don’t know. Uncertainty is failure.
Men don’t hug too long. Our sexual identity will be questioned.
Men don’t show fear. Fear is cowardice.
When men have spent our whole lives performing a masculine role, we may turn to harmful coping behaviors to numb and distract us from the grief and shame we feel. We do things like…
- bury ourselves in our work
- use alcohol, substances, porn, video games, and other addictions
- chase relationships and have affairs
- use anger and control to protect ourselves from vulnerability
- isolate ourselves from others
- use fitness and physical discipline as a distraction
- please others to the point of total self abandonment and sacrifice
These provide temporary relief but only cause further harm and compound the shame.
We may turn to healthier resources in an attempt to meet our needs; things like…
- Self-help books and podcasts
- Religious communities and faith traditions
- Meditation or mindfulness apps
- Online forums and communities
- Sports programs
These resources have real value. However, they fall short in one important way; they position something or someone outside ourselves as the authority on our own healing.
They don’t invite men to do the one thing we most need to do… return to ourselves and make a direct connection to our own inner knowing; the part of us that already has the answers we seek.
true masculinity says
Men cry. Emotion is information, not weakness.
Men acknowledge their feelings. Emotional awareness is power, not instability.
Men show their pain. Vulnerability is honest, not shameful.
Men ask for help. Knowing your limits is strength, not inadequacy.
Men admit when they don’t know. Uncertainty is honesty, not failure.
Men hold each other. Brotherhood includes physical warmth without apology.
Men express their fear. Fear is wisdom, not cowardice.